keywords: mental health, women in leadership, mental health counseling
Ladies, we’re all guilty of doing this at some point. Whether unconsciously or intentionally, every morning as we slip on our attire, we find ourselves discreetly applying our makeup along with something else. As we interact with others throughout the day, even those closest to us may struggle to detect it.
A mask.
It’s that thin layer of protection that buffers us from the world. It conceals our struggles in dealing with life and camouflages the internal battles we face every day.
Even in a culture that seemingly promotes transparency via social media and reality television, the stigma of mental health continues to serve as a barrier, preventing individuals from receiving the support they need in order to cope whenever life happens. As women, we’re known for our gift of gab, yet still struggle in this area.
We struggle to admit when life happens in the forms of depression, anxiety, self-loathing and body shaming. During dinner conversations with our closest girlfriends, we gloss over our struggles with increased feelings of sadness, fatigue, and irritability. We neglect to share that we’re struggling with a lost of direction and motivation even as we share our dessert.
What do we do when our makeup crisis doesn’t involve using the wrong shade of foundation, but failing to apply the needed shade of transparency?
Fact is, one in every eight women can expect to develop clinical depression- a mood disorder that can severely impact one’s quality of life- during their lifetime. Women are twice as likely as men to attempt suicide. One in five teens and young adults live with some type of mental health condition; among half are diagnosed by age fourteen.
Although the stigma behind mental health can lead us to believe we’re alone in facing our mental health conditions, facts reveal that this statement doesn’t reflect truth.
So why do we continue to sit at our vanity tables and put on these masks? Instead of acknowledging what’s being reflected in the mirror- the brokenness, sorrow, and fear- why do we continue to conceal how we truly feel?
Why do we choose to wear the unhealthy mask of pretension?
As we travel through our day, would we be able to detect that the woman in the neighboring cubicle is battling more than a heavy work load? Maybe it’s not your colleague, but that cashier who greets you with a forced smile. Maybe it’s the quiet girl who always sits alone in your school cafeteria. Maybe it’s the lady sitting on your very pew in church.
Maybe if you were to look hard enough you would discover that the girl wearing the mask is you.
Maybe you’re the woman who is experiencing grief after her baby leaves for college and you’re unsure who or what to focus on now. Maybe you’re the teen who hates looking at her reflection so much that she self mutilates so that her outside can match the pain she’s feeling within.
Could you be the woman who found her sense of worth in helping others, but experiences helplessness when you discover that you cannot help your sister overcome substance use? Are you that very sister striving for sobriety?
Even as a mental health professional, I had found myself slipping on that very mask, masquerading as if I had it all together during a period of my life when everything was falling apart. How quickly the mask of pretension wore off when I no longer had the energy to keep reapplying its layers!
With a little determination and a whole lot of undeserved grace, I discovered that transparency was the one translucent foundation that didn’t require application.
If you find yourself battling with mental health stressors, I’d like to offer some words of encouragement in hopes that you embrace your path towards mental wellness:
- Acknowledge where you are in your journey. Don’t allow your circumstances become the only measurements that define you.
- Recognize that healing happens from the inside out.
- Show compassion to others even when you don’t receive compassion in return. You may find those individuals who judge you are the very ones dealing with their own state of brokenness.
- Know that you are not alone. Life doesn’t discriminate and there are others who may be facing similar internal battles.
Never hesitate to ask for support. Don’t be afraid to be a support. Let’s take off our masks and show our true selves. Without the guilt. Without the shame.
Flawed, but still flawless.